It’s 10 am. I get an excited call from reception. There’s a guy downstairs who claims he’s got my perfect car. It’s a shiny new navy blue drop-head Jaguar turbo diesel that runs on canola oil, with pale Connelly hide seats and laser-guided machine guns mounted under the bonnet so I can blast the speed [...]
How to Market Automotive
March 27, 2012
Hating Ikea and the whole self-service retail culture
September 29, 2011
I’m at Ikea with Stephanie, who works at Starship, and we’re returning four big boxes which contain one big bookcase, cause it was the wrong color when we opened the boxes, but it said white on the label. This is because Ikea will deliver, but won’t ensure the items are the right ones and won’t [...]
Bias
August 29, 2011
I’m at The White Rabbit in Church Street. It’s filled with 40 something divorcees and some possibly currently married, for the time being, girls. I can’t quite tell the difference, although I’m guessing the ones who are smiling sideways at my friend Rob are possibly the divorced ones…but it is Brighton. The noise is a [...]
The people power of politics
July 12, 2011
I’m in Toorak. At a fiftieth birthday. It’s a black tie affair organised by three women who went to school together, who have decided to combine all the effort and the costs of the thing into one big party. I’m the only person in a cravat, a-la-Matt Preston, cause I went to lunch a couple [...]
Consultancy – the SAS of our game.
June 08, 2011
I’m at Zinc, Federation Square. Russell Howcroft is on stage. The place is chock a block cause he’s an ad land hero and lots of clients, consultants and media people have come along to hear pearls of wisdom drip from the mouth of one of our mega Gods. The breakfasts are better here than most [...]
All publicity is…good?
April 01, 2011
Gerry Harvey is that Uncle you wanted when you were ten. The one who’d fly in from carving out a gold mine in New Guinea on Christmas Day, give you a shot gun wrapped with a greasy red ribbon and say ‘Hey Junior, want to try it on those pigeons? He opens the window, shoves [...]
Tell me something new
April 01, 2011
A slub of an industry. Halfway between a slut and a slob. Big and messy, lipstick all over it’s bloated wrinkled face, it’s knickers half off and its dick hanging out in the breeze. But it’s powerful and angry and sick of taking it from politicians and do-gooders. And as marketers, it’s got us by [...]
And Nobody Likes You, Either
April 01, 2011
As a member of the most miss-understood, maligned profession in the world, here’s something to make you even more convinced you chose the wrong job. There you are, bag in hand, shoes hurting, dress too tight, sliding up just that little bit more than you would ever want. Tiniest beads of moisture forming on your [...]
Packaging – Storage Bags
March 24, 2011
Starship re-packaged these fruit & vegetable storage bags with a eye catching design that stood out amongst the competition. -
Lick or Suck
January 12, 2011
To do it. Not to do it. It’s sitting there, teasing you. You know you want it. No, you’re stronger than that. You’re losing weight, getting tighter, cooler. It will only take you backwards, pull you into that world of filthy self-hatred. You walk on. Now it’s crying, Oh, God you think. You can hear [...]