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I’m at a friend’s beach house – half a dozen families doing the BBQ thing. The smell of Savvy Blanc mixes with sushi, burnt animal and a soft ocean breeze, making the air almost edible. The sound of kids pushing each other off trampolines and cracking heads mixes just as well with the clinking of […]
The publishers of this magazine do not share, nor take any responsibility for the expressed or implied opinions of the writer. The publishers seek to portray fair, open and mature discussion of marketing and related subjects and seek to distance themselves from the potentially juvenile or destructive attitudes, opinions and purported facts expressed by the […]
Checking the Pulse – I wasted almost an hour of my time the other day with a grumpy guy who works in the yellow fats market (butter/margarine). He talked about the various ‘segments’ of his market. He talked about what the ads we showed him meant. To him. He debated the ‘premise’. The ‘brand values’. […]
I’m sitting here, 6 am. On the kitchen table. It’s raining. Well, it is Melbourne. In my Adidas Runners, Bonds Boxers, Hanes T-Shirt, Yarra Trail Pants, Louitt Bay Windcheater, wearing a Swatch watch that’s been the best lucky watch I’ve ever owned. I’m working on a G4 Mac Laptop, carried around in a beaten-up Targus […]
To B or not 2 B. That is the question. Whether it is nobler to suffer the pain of outrageous slings and arrows… Doesn’t even sound like the Baird, (No classical education in my shabby past.) but here I am. Naked. Pot belly. Bald. Double chin. Charming as a blow-fly. All person. Too real. Too […]
Marketing Mag. So far you’ve half-read three or four articles, found out a bit about design or telemarketing, noticed a couple of ads, taken in a few jokes. Now you’re at the end where they shove the chewy stuff. Nothing smart here. If you want to improve your IQ, move on McDuff. This bit’s bog […]
You walk in to the office. You’re a minute or so late. You’re hot and bothered from racing to get there. Your feet hurt already. The coffee machine is broken, so you can’t have one. You get to your desk. There’s a yellow sticky note on your PC that asks you to come to a […]
In search of the perfect marriage – I’m sitting spinning on my ‘directors’ chair, drumming my fingers, scheming up something evil I can suggest to a client, to rip more precious lucre from their customer’s plastic accounts. And I’m wondering what lunch might look like, who I’m having it with. I’m bored, of course. It’s a […]
A Guide to Non-Toxic Networking – It’s hot. The car’s air-con is struggling to fight back the strong northerly wind. I’m late. I hate being late. I always feel useless when I’m late. I hurry to find a park, march the couple of hundred metres fast enough to be covered in sweat. I wipe my […]
I Love Coles, BUT… FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. This is coming from the next aisle. You could be forgiven for thinking it was a couple of iced-up hip-hop dudes from the western suburbs, all baggy pants and 50 cent attitude. You might imagine it’s a 3 year old trying to tell Mummy he can see […]